一、很多人喜欢旅游分享经验，看着他们把钱花光出去走一趟，回来后生活还是没有任何改变，我就放心了。

Many people like to travel and share their experiences. I am relieved to see that they spend all their money on going out for a trip and that life has not changed since they came back.

二、假如生活欺骗了你，不要着急，拿出美颜相机，去欺骗生活。If life deceives you, don't worry. Take out your beautiful camera and deceive life.

三、别去劝一个执意要吃屎的人，不然他不但不会感谢你，还会以为你要和他抢着吃屎呢！Don't try to persuade a person who insists on eating shit. Otherwise, he will not thank you, but will think you want to eat shit with him.

四、老师出了一个上联：姜还是老的辣，叫同学们出下联。小明立刻接出下联：胸还是女的大。老师：小明你给我滚出去。

Teachers made an online couplet: Jiang is still hot old, ask students to come out of the next couplet. Xiao Ming immediately took out the following couplet: breast or female big. Teacher: Xiao Ming, get out of here for me.

五、谈恋爱应该处处让着男朋友，让他做饭，让他洗碗，让他洗衣，让他赚钱，女生呢就辛苦一点，负责吃，负责喝，负责买买买。

In love, you should let your boyfriend cook, wash dishes, wash clothes and make money everywhere. Girls work harder, eat, drink and buy.

六、虽然说强扭的瓜不甜，但有时候我并不在乎它甜不甜，我只想把它扭下来，扭下来我就高兴了。Although the strong melon is not sweet, but sometimes I do not care whether it is sweet or not, I just want to twist it off, twist it off I am happy.

七、减肥没有那么容易，每斤肉有它的脾气，过了吃不胖的年纪，挣挣扎扎不如放弃。Losing weight is not so easy. Every pound of meat has its temper. After the age of not being fat, it is better to give up struggling.

八、一定要记住那些陪你聊到深夜的人，就是因为他们，才让你熬夜导致黑眼圈那么重，皮肤这么差的。Be sure to remember those who accompany you to talk late at night, because they make you stay up late, resulting in dark circles so heavy, skin so bad.

九、小时候不爱吃饭，导致现在个矮人老了的幽默句子；现在是爱吃饭了，导致又胖又矮。心疼的抱住胖胖的自己。When I was a child, I didn't like eating, which made me short now; now I love eating, which makes me fat and short. The heart hugs the fat oneself.

十、你想一夜暴富吗人老了的幽默句子？你想身家过亿吗人老了的幽默句子？你想衣食无忧吗人老了的幽默句子？你想生活不愁吗？不如跟我在一起，我们两个一起想。

Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be a billionaire? Do you want food and clothing? Do you want to live without worries? It's better to be with me. Let's think about it together.

十一、女人，小时候有爸爸疼，长大了有老公疼，老了有儿子疼。男人，小时候听妈妈的话，长大了听老婆的话，老了听女儿的话。

Women, when they were young, they had father's pain, when they grew up, they had husband's pain, and when they were old, they had son's pain. Men listen to their mothers when they are young, to their wives when they grow up, and to their daughters when they grow old.

十二、男人喜欢女人的漂亮脸蛋，女人喜欢男人的甜言蜜语，所以女人学会了化妆，男人学会了撒谎。

Men like women's beautiful faces, women like men's sweet words, so women learn to make up, men learn to lie.

十三、生活告诉我们，当你遇到一个二货的时候，你应该果断离他远点，不然日后很可能你们会成为好朋友。

Life tells us that when you meet a second-class goods, you should be determined to stay away from him, or you will probably become good friends in the future.

十四、从今天起，只要是我朋友，谁没钱了就和我吱声，我可以给你讲述一下，没钱的日子我是怎么度过的。

From today on, as long as it's my friend, anyone who has no money will squeak with me. I can tell you how I spent my days without money.

十五、都说鱼和熊掌不可兼得，可上天对我真是太眷顾了，我穷和丑竟然能同时拥有，胖和矮还如影随形。

They say that fish and bear's paw can't be both, but God really cares for me. I'm poor and ugly. Fat and short go hand in hand.

十六、看你手撕快递包裹时那种气吞山河的姿态，一点都不像连矿泉水瓶盖都拧不开的弱女子。Look at the way you tear up the express package. It's not like a weak woman who can't even unscrew the cap of a mineral water bottle.

十七、前女友和我分手有两个原因，一是我当时没什么钱，二是她猜到了我将来也不会有什么钱。My ex-girlfriend broke up with me for two reasons. One was that I didn't have much money. The other was that she guessed that I would not have any money in the future.

十八、男女之间一定有纯真的友谊，因为每一个认识我的女生，都说最多只能跟我做朋友。There must be pure friendship between men and women, because every girl who knows me says that at most she can only make friends with me.

十九、在大排档和朋友喝酒，突然想起媳妇还在家里饿肚子，瞬间给了自己一巴掌，喝酒怎么能分心，来来来，干一个！

In the big stall and friends drinking, it suddenly occurred to me that my daughter-in-law was still hungry at home, and gave herself a slap instantly. How can we be distracted by drinking? Come here and do one!

二十、像你这么彪悍的女汉子，如果一个男生突然对你很好，那就只有一个原因：他敬你是条汉子。A tough woman like you, if a boy suddenly treats you well, there is only one reason: he respects you as a man.